It’s time for golfers unknown

“Hello, my name is Mark…”

…hello mark. Welcome to Golfers Of The Unsung.

“…and not a day had passed since I resisted my new habit. I woke up and couldn’t help myself. So I did it again. I drove to a track and played nine.”

How did it go?

“I’m a beginner – how do you think it went?”

Don’t suppress feelings, Mark. You are among friends in GA.

“The usual. Slices. Hooks, dove, worm burners. I tell you it’s a nightmare.”

Why do you think you can’t quit smoking?

“Because then I got lucky to drive one high in a row and I’m back again.”

Isn’t that a good thing?

“But it’s swallowing up my life – even when I’m not playing. Browser tabs are now all YouTube golf lessons, forget watching the news – I’ve become a golf channel player. I need help.”

When did this start?

“I’ve probably played once a year, badly, most of my life, and then a couple of months ago, I toured with my son, and I can’t explain it. I’ve got some.”

we know. It happens quickly.

“Three days later I bought a whole set from Dick’s store, and now I’m mortal.”

more:Mark Patinkin: Son, there was a time when the father’s generation was the coolest

How often do you use?

“I feel very ashamed – sometimes three times a week.”

Who are your merchants?

“My courses? I’ve done Hazelton in Rehoboth a few times. Of course it’s great, but they have this endless ditch with three or four holes eating balls. That’s where I got 14.”

ouch. What is the result of the usual hole?

“Maybe a quadruple ghost.”

Ah, a snowman. 8. So it is controlling your life?

“Exactly. I made an appointment for a computer repair in Middletown, and when they said it would take four hours, I was thrilled, to be able to play Newport National.”

Beautiful course.

“One of the best. But outside of the first tee, you have to hit, I don’t know – 60 or 80 yards deep stuff. The danger from hell. And the same risk for the other three holes. A ball was lost in each one. Why do they do this to me? “