Seeing my mother in nature | daily log

by Tom Warner

I wrote about some memories of my mom a few weeks ago as she struggled against a horrific form of dementia that quickly decimated her mind and body. When she died now 10 days ago, the wound was too fresh to treat again. Her printed tribute now that a crust has formed and has begun to heal is the least I can do.

These words came to me in nature last week. Needing a break from funeral planning, estate management, and general grieving, I headed to Raven Rock State Park with my four-legged friend. I never expected it, my mom tested it many times.

While I literally didn’t hear her voice, my mom was definitely there. I first noticed it in a beautiful spider web made between two trees. My mother’s smile was as evident in that spider’s web as the sun was in the sky. I don’t think she was a fan of spiders, but she used the web at least for a second to send a message.

Then I heard the true abomination of tears, my mother in the many birds in the forest. My mother loved the winged creatures of God and they loved her back. Only God knows how many bluebirds she has saved in her home maintenance work in an area. She has saved quite a few in my yard, and she always has sage advice on box placement and other important details.

I have fed the birds for years and enjoyed their presence immensely. There was not a moment of silence somewhere in the sky among the birds that were flying there as they passed by.

A squirrel running across one of its limbs also made me smile. As much as I pretended to hate squirrels for their part in escaping the birds, my mom loved them too. If not, she wouldn’t put cobs of corn around her yard for them. I just say.

Although there are only small waterfalls at Raven Rock, the sound of water flowing over the stone was a reminder to my mom. She loved waterfalls. A closer look at the obituary image featured in this great post shows an image in the background. Hearing the water running in Raven Rock started a bit in my eyes.

My mother’s love for nature has continued throughout my life. Long before she was politically and socially popular, my brothers and I walked with her to collect recyclable bottles. I doubt anyone has recycled more in her life than my mom did. While her impact on the world around her was small, it was significant over time when taken into account.

Everyone I know who has experienced the loss of a parent says you never get over their loss. I clearly see that is the case with me.

Fifty years from now, when I am an old man, I will think of my mother when I see a bluebird. Every time I see a Cardinal, my mind will flash to my mother, I loved this particular creature of heaven. You will come to mind when I see a waterfall or see a squirrel dancing along a power line.

These are all good things. I don’t want to forget the most independent and successful woman I have ever known. Her physical body is gone, but her soul lives in the world God created around us all.

Tom Warner writes for The Daily Record and is the former editor of Harnett County News. You can reach him at [email protected]

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