DeSmit: There is no place for litter boxes in schools but please install a hamster wheel for my daughter

Scott Desmet’s Column

My daughter started her first day in 8th grade on Tuesday and we were up and early to get ready for the big day.

I told her after we wiped the sleep from our eyes. “How do you feel today?”

Jenna thought about this for a moment before replying.

“Hamster!” I declared, before running down the hall and climbing into the hamster wheel I had prepared for such occasions.

“The hamster is then!” I said before heading to the laundry room to pick out clothes for the hamster.

Wed I went to school as a pigeon. Thursday was a snake, for some reason.

And on Friday she already went to school by herself.

Now, we have a very convenient supervisor here in Albion.

Mr. Edwards caters well to the special needs of children and has installed hamster wheels and bird cages complete with newspapers scattered across the floor of the cage and of course litter boxes for many of the students who are cats. or cats.

“Cleaning litter boxes is much easier than cleaning toilets,” one of the cleaners told me. “Have you ever seen what a student can do with the toilet?”

Welcome to the age of furry.

As if two years of dealing with COVID protocols, mask mandates, parents totally going to board meetings, drug issues, vaping, bullying, and the constant battle with cell phones wasn’t enough, we now have this: Are schools installing litter boxes in bathrooms to cater to students who are considered cats?

I don’t make it up, although I admit I made things up about my daughter and her school.

Hornell’s most recent incident occurred at a school board meeting Tuesday night.

Parents addressed the board and the supervisor asking about rumors of litter boxes being placed in the bathrooms.

“On behalf of the school management, this is not something we do, this is not something we think of doing at all… It does not happen,” the supervisor said.

Another parent asked why the school allowed children to wear animal clothes.

“We have a dress code within our code of conduct, and we follow the dress code, thanks.”

I’ve been researching this issue for the past couple of weeks, ever since my girlfriend said she was told that the Alexander and Perry schools had litter boxes.

What or what???!?!

So I did what all serious and dedicated investigative journalists do.

You searched Google for “school litter boxes”.

Results: 32,800,000 of them.

Dansville had to address the problem.

Schools in nearly every state have had to calm angry parents at board meetings, plead with them and reassure them that no, we don’t put litter boxes in schools.

Did not matter. People believe everything they believe, no matter how far-fetched it may seem.

One Nebraska senator said he was “shocked” when he learned that there were trash cans in schools.

“They tend and bark and interact with their teachers in this way,” Bruce Postelman said during a legislative debate. Now schools want to put litter boxes in schools for these children to use. How healthy is this? ”

He later apologized after being told what a fool he was.

You really don’t seem to believe everything you read on the internet, Bruce.

Side story: I spent 90 minutes searching for Furries one morning and an hour later I was in my car pumping gas near the dollar general. A group of people walked out of the store and one of them was real furry! I’m not joking! I even took a picture of him in what appears to be a fox costume. what a coincidence.

Anyway, my research told me a lot about Furries, which is true, and about a rumor that litter boxes are in schools.

They are not. Schools would never put litter boxes in bathrooms and wouldn’t let kids go to school like the Furries.

However, I would like to ask our school to install a hamster wheel.

Scott Desmett is a general assignment reporter for the Daily News. It can be accessed at [email protected].

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